As I sit and ponder
I find myself in a dither
and i wither in my dither
wither weather how wow....
Dec 7, 2012
May 19, 2011
Nov 17, 2009
Oct 25, 2009
Sep 18, 2009
...it dawned on me to look again for the key to that ancient party where I might find my appetite once more.ar
Recently, I tried to Facebook for 4 months, twittered for 2 weeks and still trying to figure out what make the people up who think those types of sites are awesome. Anyway, I chose to go off that grid and went back to riding my bike and gardening.
Watched Delicatessen for the 3rd or forth time and still delight in the misery, sick and twisted misery.
And now, some Baudelaire...
"You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it—it's the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.
But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.
And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."
au revoir
Watched Delicatessen for the 3rd or forth time and still delight in the misery, sick and twisted misery.
And now, some Baudelaire...
"You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it—it's the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.
But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.
And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."
au revoir
Mar 25, 2007
Bienvenue a me Cauchmere
I keep having these terrible dreams and no idea where they are coming from...probably too many reality shows...
Oct 9, 2006
Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.WS
Oct 1, 2006
East coast craving
Fall makes me think of art openings, the Met and, hanging out at the Plaza Hotel (before it closed) and Central Park. But, this year fall has me thinking about New Haven of all ghastly places to be memorialized in my mind.
it is like this, certain places and people can raise your IQ by about 50 points-for me it is the old Yale locales; the drama school, the Rep, the British, the Art Gallery and the brilliant lectures and incredible zeitgeist. It's been 20 years since I left the east coast, after a horrible break-up and, this is the first time I profoundly miss it.
I miss New England and I miss walking through the Met. And, I miss the theater.
I really miss the art experiences. An art experience is an amazing journey- transported into an artist's world (pick your artist carefully.) For example, Claude Lorrain,,,every line, every brush stroke is part of my art experience...surreal... the art experience is a transcendence to god.
On another note, California has become intellectually vacuous, particularly here in shit town, Alameda, it is too flat, dirty and boring for me right now.
it is like this, certain places and people can raise your IQ by about 50 points-for me it is the old Yale locales; the drama school, the Rep, the British, the Art Gallery and the brilliant lectures and incredible zeitgeist. It's been 20 years since I left the east coast, after a horrible break-up and, this is the first time I profoundly miss it.
I miss New England and I miss walking through the Met. And, I miss the theater.
I really miss the art experiences. An art experience is an amazing journey- transported into an artist's world (pick your artist carefully.) For example, Claude Lorrain,,,every line, every brush stroke is part of my art experience...surreal... the art experience is a transcendence to god.
On another note, California has become intellectually vacuous, particularly here in shit town, Alameda, it is too flat, dirty and boring for me right now.
Sep 19, 2006
A Poison Tree
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine -
And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree
-WILLIAM BLAKE
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine -
And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree
-WILLIAM BLAKE
Sep 18, 2006
I tried to save the world today...
...but no one let me...so it immediately became a slow day, at work, with my trainer and at home...
Well at home at least I have someone who encourages me to save the world...and that would be Twilight.
Who is Twilight? Twilight is the most amazing little animal on the planet right now. Twilight doesn't judge, Twilight is intelligent... has an amazing intelligence. Twilight is sensitive to the vibe around and like me...in perpetual limbo.
Well at home at least I have someone who encourages me to save the world...and that would be Twilight.
Who is Twilight? Twilight is the most amazing little animal on the planet right now. Twilight doesn't judge, Twilight is intelligent... has an amazing intelligence. Twilight is sensitive to the vibe around and like me...in perpetual limbo.
Sep 17, 2006
Sunday, lovely Sunday
It is always quiet around here on Sunday. It makes for a peaceful day in a twisted world.
Sep 16, 2006
A spineless man or what?
A year and half has past since I met Peter. A sexy middle-aged Australian adventurer who loves the water. He is charming and I was immediately attracted to him, we had chemistry, despite him being a pound-your-chest type of shvitzer.
Anyway, had he told me he was a married philanderer you wouldn't be reading this post. Well, the details are way too tedious and frankly way too dull for any reader (other than someone who loves the Jerry Springer show), so I won't get into it.
At this point, I am focused on happy happy joy joy but with the persistent and unrelenting memory haunting me (self-esteem attack) and the overwhelming weirdness of being involved with a schmuck for soo long...it is not easy.
The wife...she is duped. He pours on the charm and becomes a sycophant (channeling the guilt into an effective tool) big smile, flattery, whatever, building her bathroom in the hills and telling her what a smart girl she is... he just doesn't want to lose his possesions- now this is the behavior of a spineless creature.
As for me...I simply made a dramatic and subversive exit and currently in therapy to determine the root cause for afflicting this type of pain on myself again and again. And, yet another appalling example of my deficient judgement.
Anyway, had he told me he was a married philanderer you wouldn't be reading this post. Well, the details are way too tedious and frankly way too dull for any reader (other than someone who loves the Jerry Springer show), so I won't get into it.
At this point, I am focused on happy happy joy joy but with the persistent and unrelenting memory haunting me (self-esteem attack) and the overwhelming weirdness of being involved with a schmuck for soo long...it is not easy.
The wife...she is duped. He pours on the charm and becomes a sycophant (channeling the guilt into an effective tool) big smile, flattery, whatever, building her bathroom in the hills and telling her what a smart girl she is... he just doesn't want to lose his possesions- now this is the behavior of a spineless creature.
As for me...I simply made a dramatic and subversive exit and currently in therapy to determine the root cause for afflicting this type of pain on myself again and again. And, yet another appalling example of my deficient judgement.
May 26, 2005
Size does matter!!!
Is it really worth the wait (months) to find out that one little thing can ruin a relationship?
This is a story about a friend who is trying to get serious, we had the conversation below this morning.
After investing months and months in a relationship she ended it without telling him why. Why, I asked. It just didn't work out, she said. What happened? It's a long story. So tell me the abridged version. She started crying and said "Size matters...it really does!!!"...OMFG....she was mortified and I was hysterically amused and couldn't hide my expression. She took off for her car after a quick see ya. After all, what are friends for.
This is a story about a friend who is trying to get serious, we had the conversation below this morning.
After investing months and months in a relationship she ended it without telling him why. Why, I asked. It just didn't work out, she said. What happened? It's a long story. So tell me the abridged version. She started crying and said "Size matters...it really does!!!"...OMFG....she was mortified and I was hysterically amused and couldn't hide my expression. She took off for her car after a quick see ya. After all, what are friends for.
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